Tony Porter: A Call To Men
"Tony is the original visionary and co-founder behind A CALL TO MEN: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women. He is the author of "Well Meaning Men...Breaking Out of the Man Box - Ending Violence Against Women" and the visionary for the book, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters.

Tony's message of accountability is welcome and supported by many grassroots and established organizations. He’s currently working with numerous domestic and sexual violence programs, the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, colleges and universities around the country. He has worked with the United States Military Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis.

Tony is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department having worked in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, United Kingdom and Brazil. In addition, he has been a guest presenter for the United Nations' Commission on the Status of Women and has been a script consultant for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." - (x)








A large part of my adult, career-related life has been lived by Susan Ivanova’s examples and wisdom.

i don’t really know who this is i think she’s from babylon 5 but AWESOME

Oh man.  MAN.  Man.  Lemme tell you about Susan Ivanova.

Susan Ivanova, second in command of Babylon 5, has been through a lot of shit.  First, off, Babylon 5 is a deliberate melting pot of a place where. after a really bad war, different species can come to seek peace.  Earthgov is skeptical about it.  The other species governments are skeptical about it.  As a result, the station often stands between the universe and very bad shit going down. 

Commander Ivanova is in charge of operations.  All the day to day stuff.  She handles it pretty well.


Mostly, anyway.

She is not here to put up with anyone’s shit.  Not even if you’re from Earth.

She’s second in command of a station with captains that are perpetually putting themselves and the station through a lot of political… well, ugly politics.  She’s often the one left behind, having to tell folks the Captain is not available and she’s in charge.  Honestly, for having to be the grownup among so many damned children, she’s very well liked. 

She’s not all business, though, she’s a great friend as well as commander, with a lovely, dry, gallows sense of humor.  I’m not sure there’s a person on the station who doesn’t have a private joke or at least a friendly word with her (provided they’re not fucking up her schedule).

Her family is Russian and Jewish, and it actually comes up from time to time.  She occasionally sends a shout out to god (she’s not practicing, iirc, but she still identifies as Jewish and keeps a few traditions), She commentates often on her Russian heritage.

Susan Ivanova: I know, I know. It’s a Russian thing. When we’re about to do something stupid, we like to catalog the full extent of our stupidity for future reference. 

She meets up with family and friends from her past and doesn’t shy away from them:

Lt. Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: So how are things back home? 
Rabbi Koslov: They change, they stay the same. Russia is Russia. Your father used to say: “If regret could be harvested, Russia would be the world’s fruit basket.” 

She had a rough time growing up - her mother was a telepath, and in this universe if you’re telepathic and human you have two options: join a quasi-militaristic organization called the PsiCorps that will immediately take you from your family and control your whole life (they even have a saying: the Corps is Mother.  The Corps is Father.  It’s as chilling as you think,); option two is to take some drugs that suppress your abilities.  Ivanova’s mother chose the second option, and after a long, ugly period suffering under the effects of the drug, she took her own life.

You can imagine Susan is not thrilled with anyone associated with the Psicorps. But when a Psicorps telepath named Talia Winters comes on board, some interesting things happen.

At first she avoids the hell out of her.

But then, eventually, Susan doesn’t mind her so much.

Talia reaches out, and turns up at Susan’s quarters late one night.

They actually become real friends.

And you know, they have scenes like this.

And then, when Talia is gone she confesses:

Susan also later falls in love with a man named Marcus Cole, which means for my money she’s the first bisexual lady in space that I ever saw on TV.  Possibly ever.

For all that though, for her friendships and lovely jokes and cuddly-as-a-cactus-flower appeal, they never ever forget how good she is at her job.  She is shatteringly competent.

She is a military commander, and from time to time, she shows it.

Also, she was airlocking people before it was cool.

The whole crew is in on the airlocking thing, really.  They support her airlocking habits.  It’s lovely of them to do.

In summation:

Commander Susan Ivanova, bisexual Russian Jewish space princess of my heart.  Forever.  Watch this show.

Always share St. Ivanova.

YEESSSS. Babylon 5 fandom, we yet live!!

And did we mention the part where she coopted part of the hydroponics bays so that she could grow coffee to prevent her from committing homicide?

Susan Ivanova is my queen.  Also my rebbe.

(I refuse to call her St Ivanova because what part of “Jewish” are we forgetting, thanks for the erasure).

#another on the endless list of shows I want to get around to watching

YES. Yes, you do. It has its problems, it’s the first show to do all its SFX by computer (Amigas with Video Toaster cards) and sometimes it looks it, and it starts slow but god damn once it gets going it is fucking amazing and awesome.

Also, Ivonava and Talia’s relationship is canon and confirmed and intent, and the only reason it stopped when it did is because Talia’s actress wanted to leave the show to do other things nobody cares about.

I have never watched this show but this makes me want to!

The best show I ever watched.

1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.

2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.

3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.

4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.

6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?

7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.

8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.

9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.

10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.

Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often (via guiseofgentlewords)

tag game: characters who share the same personality type as you (i was tagged by thankyouforyourcooperation)

If you don’t know your personality type, take the test here. Rules: Find out what characters share the same personality type as you here and list the characters that you find relevant below. Then tag five friends and let them know you tagged them!

Type: ISTJ (The Inspector)

thankyouforyourcooperation replied to your post: Ten books

You did to Over Sea, Under Stone what I did to Across the Barricades (also The Raging Quiet but that was author not series).

:) If To Kill a Mockingbird had been part of a series I’d have done the same for that as well. I don’t currently remember anything else I had to read at school that I have my own copies of now. Unless you want to consider the Shakespeare plays that I have digital copies of somewhere (I don’t because I didn’t pay any money for them).
Ten books

I wasn’t tagged here, but I did see someone post their own list a while ago.
Ten books that have stayed with you.. (most are parts of series)

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C. S. Lewis
Probably the first book I purchased for myself, I was overly pleased with myself when I finished reading it that day. I’d had Dawn Treader read to me at school a couple of years earlier.

I don’t remember identification details about the book apart from it being hard-cover and yellow. While at primary school I helped in the library and was allowed to borrow a third book. This was my normal choice for a non-fiction book and probably had a big impact on how easy I picked up concepts later on.

The Three Investigators and the Stuttering Parrot - Robert Arthur
Fairly certain this was the first of the many Three Investigator stories I came across, I don’t remember if it was one of the stories read at school or I found it in the library. I’ve managed to acquire 28 of the 43 stories over the years, I’d still buy more if I saw them.

The Warrior’s Apprentice - Lois McMaster Bujold
One of two books my mother got for me when I was about 10, this also led to me buying others in the series although it was longer before that happened. Almost certainly the first time I read about a main character that was disabled in any significant way.

The Call of the Sword - Roger Taylor
The other of the two books my mother gave me, this is the first of a four book series (that sort of has a fifth epilogue and a dozen side books), I probably read it two or three times in the five years after getting it. I also went to the effort of getting an interlibrary loan to read the next two books but I don’t think I was able to get the fourth. Last year I was given the three books I didn’t have and took months to read the second, read the third in January this year and haven’t really started the fourth. I think I’m hesitant to find out how everything ends.

Federation - Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens
Maybe not the first Star Trek book I read but almost certainly the first I purchased. Released at the end of TNGs run it has that crew, the Original Series, and someone from the pre-Federation. I now have about 350 Star Trek books.

Over Sea, Under Stone - Susan Cooper
One of the books my English class was assigned to read our first year at High School, I finished it much earlier than the others in the class. Then went to the local library and borrowed the other four of the series.

Superman: Last Son of Krypton - Elliot S. Maggin
One of a number of books I got from a cousin when he shifted, this is probably partly responsible for my interest in superheroes.

The Eye of the World - Robert Jordon
Near the end of my time at High School I purchased the sixth book of this series cheaply and then started buying the others in order. I even got two of my books signed by the author in my first year out of school.

About half way through my time at High School I was given a Bible and before I’d left school had read it through at least once, I may have done so twice.



Charts from OKCupid, showing how straight women and men rate each other based on ages. For women, the men they find most attractive are roughly their own age. For men, the women they find most attractive are roughly the same age - 20 to 23 - regardless of the age of the man. (538)

Good fucking Christ.

I’m interested in the definition of “best” but not particularly surprised.


i didnt lose my virginity, i know exactly who has it


There’s a definite air of daily routine about this…


There’s a definite air of daily routine about this…

I was tagged by jojoinabox and heylookitsamelia
Picture quality what it is as I used my laptop’s webcam.

1. Name
2. URL
3. Blog Name
4. Crush
5. Favourite Colour
7. Favourite Band/Singer
8. Favourite Number
9. Favourite Drink
10. Tag 10 People!

I was tagged by jojoinabox and heylookitsamelia
Picture quality what it is as I used my laptop’s webcam.

1. Name
2. URL
3. Blog Name
4. Crush
5. Favourite Colour
7. Favourite Band/Singer
8. Favourite Number
9. Favourite Drink
10. Tag 10 People!



I have on occasion used my drawers to make shifting my books easier. If I didn’t want to store my clothing in a normal manner most of my Star Trek books would likely be in drawers like that.


These are “spurious correlations" (created by Tyler Vigen) paired with a comic (by XKCD).

Here’s the cool thing: Vigen points out that when we laugh at these correlations we are actually acting like scientists. He explains it better than I can in this video.

For ‘Yes’ To Be Meaningful, Women Have To Be Able To Say ‘No’ Without Fear


People take pictures of girls and women without their consent or desire for public consumption and review all the time. This weekend’s nonconsensual sharing of nude photos of 100 female celebrities was just the recent, high profile example of something that happens every day. Namely, violations of women’s privacy, consent, and right to safety by people, usually men, who derive status, power, control, self-esteem, whatever, from denigrating women.

Consent is a central idea in challenging this culture.  The important affirmative “Yes!” we are increasingly, thankfully, talking about means freedom from coercion. It means our default, by virtue of being female, isn’t “yes.” For that to be meaningful women have to be able to say “No,” and we still can’t do that freely.

It’s a very simple idea: When someone wants to use your body, you should have the right to say no if you don’t want them to. And, whether you are a celebrity or not, not have your civil rights violated or be humiliated, shamed, bludgeoned, raped, or killed. 

No, taking naked pictures doesn’t mean I consent to sharing them.

No, I don’t want to perform oral sex on a stranger.

No, I don’t want to be married to you anymore.

No, what I wear doesn’t give you rights to sex.

No, I don’t want to send you naked pictures.

No, I don’t want to see your naked picture.

No, I don’t want to see you anymore.

No, I don’t want to get back together.

No, drinking doesn’t mean I consent.

No, I won’t go to the prom with you.

No, you cannot share that picture.

No, I don’t want you to touch me.

No, I don’t want to live with you.

No, I don’t want to have a drink.

No, you’re abusing your power.

No, I don’t want to talk to you.

No, I want to keep this baby.

No, I don’t want to date you.

No, I want to go to school.

No, I don’t want to smile.

No, I disagree with you.

No, I want an abortion.

No, I don’t need a ride.

No, I want a divorce.

No, I don’t think so.

No, I will not fight.

No, I will not stop.

No, I’m not going.

No, I won’t.

No, stop.

WhenWomenRefuse exists for a reason. Incidents of abusive sharing and viewing of private images without consent are violences that live on the surface of structural, systemic ones. Those structures and systems are designed to deflect attention away from intimate partner violence, where the majority of the danger lies, toward stranger violence.

“In a 2012 survey, 89% of local domestic violence programs reported that victims were experiencing intimidation and threats by abusers via technology, including through cell phones, texts, and email,” explains Erica Olsen, Deputy Director of Safety Net, a program created by the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) to address the tactical use of technology in gendered violence. Non-consensual photography is often involved.



I often see and get jealous of people on Tumblr who are living on their own and cooking for themselves and are generally self-sufficient adults and then I remember that I also live on my own and cook for myself and am a generally self-sufficient adult, so I have to assume that we’re all just faking it.

Faking it. How life goes on.


people say ‘I love you’ in a lot of different ways

'eat something'

'buckle up'

'get some sleep'

'i want to give you multiple consecutive orgasms'