- I’m loud.
- I’m obnoxious.
- I’m sarcastic.
- I’m cocky.
- I cry easily.
- I have a bad temper.
- I’m easy to get along with. (I believe so.)
- I have more enemies than friends.
- I’ve smoked.
- I’m smoked weed.
- I drink coffee.
- I clean my room daily.
- I wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
- I wear makeup.
- I wear contacts.
- I wear glasses.
- I have braces.
- I change my hair color often.
- I straighten my hair often.
- I have a piercing.
- I have small feet.
- I’m in a relationship now.
- I’m single.
- I’m crushin’.
- I’m always scared of being hurt.
- An ex has physically abused me at least once.
- I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
- I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
- I’ve been in love more than two times.
- I believe in love at first sight.
- I believe lust is more important than love.
- I have a best friend.
- I have at least ten friends.
- I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
- I’ve beaten up a friend.
- I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
- I’ve been on a plane.
- I’ve been on a train.
- Someone close to me has died.
- I’ve taken a taxi.
- I’ve taken a city bus.
- I’ve taken a school bus.
- I’ve gone bungee jumping.
- I’ve made a speech.
- I’ve been in some sort of club.
- I’ve won an award.
- I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
- I’ve been in a physical fight. (It lasted about as long as people would expect)
- I listen to R&B.
- I listen to country.
- I listen to pop.
- I listen to techno.
- I listen to rock.
- I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.
- I hate the radio.
- I download music.
- I buy CD’s.
- I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
- I watch soap operas daily.
- I’m in love with Days of Our Lives.
- I’ve seen and liked the O.C.
- I’ve seen and liked One Tree Hill.
- I’ve seen and like Americas Next Top Model.
- I’ve seen and like Popular.
- I’ve seen and like 24.
- I’ve seen and liked CSI.
- I’ve seen and like Everwood.
- I get along with both of my parents.
- My biological parents are still together.
- I have at least one brother.
- I have at least one sister.
- I have at least one step brother/sister.
- I have at least one half brother/sister.
- I’ve been kicked out of the house.
- I’ve ran away from my home.
- I’ve sworn at my parents.
- I’ve made my parents cry.
- I’ve lied to my parents.
- I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
- I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
- I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
- I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.
- I’ve been brown.
- I’ve had streaks.
- I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
- I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
- I’ve been blonde.
- I’ve had black.
- I’ve been red.
- I’ve been light brown.
- I’ve been blue/green.
- I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
- I use conditioner.
- I’ve used silk therapy.
- I’ve used hot oil treatments.
- I’ve curled my hair.
- I’ve straightened my hair.
- I’ve ironed my hair.
- I’ve braided my hair.
- I’ve yelled at a teacher.
- I’ve been suspended.
- I’ve had an in-school suspension.
- I’ve been sent to the principals office. (For both good and bad)
- I’ve walked out of class.
- I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
- I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
- I’ve failed a test.
- I’ve cheated on a test.
- I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
- I’ve failed Art.
- I’ve failed P.E.
- I’ve failed math.
- I’ve failed another class.
- A teacher has called my parents.
Myth #1: “This is a radical, new idea.”
Myth #3: “Boys and men will be unfairly penalized for easy misunderstandings and miscommunications.”
Myth #4: “The law ignores situations when both people might be drunk.”
Myth #5: “‘Yes means Yes’ ‘fixes’ a problem that doesn’t exist. Why can’t a person just say ‘no’ or fight back?”
Myth #6: “This law, and others like it, will change everything about how we prosecute rape claims.”
Read details here about why these are myths and how rooted in not understanding the crime, predatory rape and how people respond while being assaulted. In the end, what much of these objections seem to come down to is a discomfort with one thing: shifting the onus from survivors of sexual assault, mainly but not by any means exclusively, women, to perpetrators, who regardless of the gender of the person assaulted, remain mainly men. Yes means yes is a challenge to the cultural entitlements that allow serial rapists to function with impunity. Less than 3% of rapists are ever jailed. On campuses, less than 2% are ever sanctioned in any way.
As Amanda Hess put it, “If you think it’s easy for a person to just say no, then why would it be so hard for his or her partner to just ask?” Why does that worry people so much?
“You shouldn’t —— them, then,” muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.
|—||I love this joke, (Mort, Terry Pratchett)|
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee.
at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke. nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.
white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response. tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.
Did not expect.
if you are a youngling in high school then please do your homework please try your very best i am fucking begging you please do better than i did please jesus just do your homework ask for help switch up your studying tactics if they’re not doin it for you just fucking please do your best i am begging you don’t fuck up as hard as i did and for the love of god try to get a good night’s rest as often as possible i don’t want you guys to feel like i do
Amen to that. At least try and do the work, instead of letting it pile up.
Boundaries are a complicated thing- especially for individuals who have been through trauma or come from families that had poor boundaries. We first learn boundaries in our family unit and then it is briefly talked about in schools, but most people just assume that boundaries are a thing ‘you know’. People who have gone through trauma may have had good boundaries before, but find them disrupted while trying to recover.
This is meant as a bare skeleton on how to rebuild boundaries:
Consciously make a decision about who can touch you, where and how. Lay out both things that are okay- and things that aren’t. Boundaries are going to vary from person to person- but you could say something like:
'I am okay with my friends hugging me but only if they do it from the front'
'I am not okay with anyone touching my neck'
'I am okay with people I've just met asking for hugs- but not with them touching me without asking first'
Boundaries are allowed to change too. Something you used to be okay with- might not be after trauma, or not on days that you’re triggered. If this happens, just talk to the individuals involved.
When someone violates a boundary- call them out. A simple ‘Hey, I really dislike being touched like that’ ‘I’m not a big fan of hugs’. Once you’ve laid out a boundary- you can just call someone’s attention to it with a simple ‘really?’ or ‘We’ve talked about this’ ‘You need to respect my decision on if I want to be touched.’
The best way to get someone to respect a boundary- is to say it in a calm but serious voice. Not angry but also not joking/nervously laughing. If you need to, physically take a step backwards to further reinforce the boundary.
Sometimes it can be hard to draw emotional boundaries because ‘they need us’, ‘they’re just acting out’, or ‘a good friend would’.
Understand that boundaries are necessarily for everyone involved, and just giving in every time someone asks you for something isn’t being a good friend- it is being a doormat. Having boundaries isn’t selfish- it allows everyone involved to grow.
Figure out what being a good friend really means for you- and understand that the best boundaries are flexible boundaries.
which means that you can set a boundary of ‘You cannot call me after 10 pm’ most of the time- and still be there should something come up that you feel it is appropriate to shift that boundary. Like, ‘Usually it isn’t okay to call me super late- but you’ve been through some rough stuff lately, so it is okay if you call me when you need me right now.’ Or ‘I usually wouldn’t handle you snapping at me- but I understand that x is going on. But I am going to make you aware that it isn’t going to continue. I’m happy to be here for you- but you are not going to use me as an emotional punching bag.’
You’re allowed to put boundaries on how much you can help too, ‘I’ll do what I can. but I can’t be there for you 24/7. It isn’t healthy for either of us for me to literally be your everything.’ and if you’re in that position- with a friend who is struggling, you can offer to help them find other means and other support- whether it be a hotline, a support group, or helping them make new friends… but you need to hold strong to the fact that you aren’t going to be ‘on call’ all the time. That you are a person too, and you have to take care of yourself as well. This does not make you selfish- I promise.
Material boundaries have to deal with our things. Such as whether or not you’re cool lending money to friends, or letting them stay at your house.
A big problem with material boundaries is that people often have a check list of ‘I can let so-and-so borrow stuff/stay over’ but they don’t set limits.
There is a big difference between someone spending a few nights on your coach because they’re only in the state that long, or they need a safe place to go too… and someone living in your house without paying rent for a couple of months.
and while there are some circumstances where you may permit that (helping a friend get out of an abusive relationship) there are others that you might not be.
And you are allowed to set those boundaries. It isn’t about how good of a friend you are. You aren’t failing someone when they need you most. You are setting boundaries that allow your relationships to survive.
It is also important to realize that if you have a friend that turns down things you offer- it is a boundary on their part. Sometimes people will try and convince someone to accept a gift or let them buy them dinner- and everyone needs to be aware that it isn’t cool to keep trying if someone is uncomfortable. A reason for this boundary may be ‘I can’t afford to pay you back- and I was taught to never be in debt to someone’ to ‘I am used to things like that coming with a price I can’t pay later on.’ and while on the first- you may be able to talk to them and be like, ‘hey, I’m in a better position financially right now… so let me get you dinner. you can pay me back with the pleasure of your company’ but understand when a no is a no.
Mental Boundaries come in two main forms- our absorption of other people’s ideas, and how much what they say affects us.
Mental boundaries can be telling that friend that is just a little too pushy about their politics, “Hey, I would prefer not to talk about politics at the dinner table.” or “You know what? I don’t have information about either side right now. So I’m going to read up later instead of making an opinion based only off what your can tell me.”
Mental boundaries are what allow us to come in contact with gross individuals and come away less hurt. It doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to be effected by someone calling you a slur, or someone making comment on your worth- but they’re what allow us to say ‘They might think I’m (unpleasant thing) but 1. their opinion does not matter to me and 2. I have all these reasons I know otherwise/ people that believe otherwise. I shouldn’t let this hurt me.’ Setting a mental boundary doesn’t mean not calling people out who spout cruel things, or that you have to sit around and listen to it though. Play it safe and take care of yourself.
The thing about boundaries is that usually, they are found through bumping into them. Most of our boundaries are things we’ll never speak aloud because usually we don’t need to. (Think of it this way- you probably don’t have to tell your friends that it isn’t okay to punch you. Because this is a generally understood boundary.) People don’t sit down when they meet and go ‘Hi- I am so-and-so and never touch me here here and here, and never bring up this and never ask to do so and so’ and it would probably be a little weird if we did that about everything.
But when something is a strong boundary- such as a trigger, it is perfectly okay to bring it up before the boundary is bumped. Just a ‘Hey, I know this might sound weird, and you’d probably never do it- but I have a really bad reaction to people touching me without my permission and I’d rather put that out here now’
And a verbal/written call out of boundaries is the best one. while we should try and be conscious of people’s body language/ unvoiced cues- sometimes they can be hard to read or people don’t notice them.
You don’t fuck with the tray master
There’s something about the casual destructive power of immense, self-certain competence.
im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt
If I don’t buy food, I’ll almost certainly die. If I don’t buy a $40 shirt I can probably buy two $20 shirts.
Do you ever want to talk to someone but
1) You feel like you’re bothering them or coming off clingy
2) You don’t have anything to say, you just want to talk to them
3) You don’t know how to hold a conversation to save your life
I think I’ve reblogged this or something like it before.
It is still relevant.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture that so fully summed up what it is to be a cat owner.
do you ever feel like you’re just sort of
like all your friends go out and do things and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone
like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything
Copied/altered from ellipsisobsessed:
- If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? The Call of the Sword, Babylon 5, Victor Borge
- Have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? If so, who? No
- List your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.
- Do you like your name? Is there another name you think would fit you better? It’s mine, I wouldn’t get used to another.
- Do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? Do you identify yourself by the things you do? I’m human as far as I can tell, I am being more than I am doing.
- Are you religious/spiritual? Not really, even when I identified as Christian I never had anything I’d consider a spiritual experience. I do still believe in a Creator though.
- Do you care about your ethnicity? No, and the fact I can be uncaring is almost entirely due to the fact I’m white in a majority white country.
- What musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? None, I enjoy music, but don’t tend to care about the artist.
- Are you an artist? I’ve wanted to draw for years, I keep doing other things instead. I’ve also taken part in NaNoWriMo for the past decade.
- Do you have a creed? Not really. Closest would be how I try to stay out of the way of others.
- Describe your ideal day. Wake up with my girlfriend, play many board games somewhere, get a lot of hugs, eat well, go to bed with my girlfriend.
- Dog person or cat person? Cat. Kittens are even better.
- Inside or outdoors? Indoors typically, outside is very good on sunny, warm days
- Are you a musician? No
- Five most influential books over your lifetime. "The Warrior’s Apprentice", "The Call of the Sword", "the Bible", "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe", "The Three Investigators and the Mystery of the Stuttering Parrot"
- If you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same? Almost no chance at all.
- Would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? I’m more open here about certain things, including answers in this post. So perhaps I’m a braver me here.
- What’s your spirit animal?
- Which Harry Potter house would you be in? Or are you a muggle? I’d probably be a muggle.
- Would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else? Hogwarts, if I wasn’t a muggle.
- Do you love easily? Not now, been burnt once to many times it seems.
- List the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order. Wasting time with my laptop, sleeping, out gaming, working, church
- How often would you want to see your family every year? At least once a month, if only for a couple of hours at a time
- Have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone? No
- Could you live as a hermit? Depends on why, and whether I can have internet access and food delivered
- How would you describe your gender/sexuality? Hetrosexual Cis-male
- Do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”? I probably look more “normal” than I am.
- On a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin? Quite difficult, I’m fairly passive.
- Three songs that you connect with right now. I no longer listen to the radio, and it’s been a while since I listened to any music elseways.
- Pick one of your favorite quotes. "Opinions on abortion are like nipples, we all have them but women’s are more important."
Designer Goula Figeura’s Orwell day bed lets you easily shut yourself off from the outside world with its light and noise-cancelling curtains.
I have a MIGHTY NEED.
I suspect this would be of interest to a few people.
After reading about gender-bias and conversation dominance in the classroom, I asked for a peer to observe a physics class I was teaching and keep track of the discussion time I was giving to various students along with their race and gender. In this exercise, I knew I was being observed and I was trying to be extra careful to equally represent all students―but I STILL gave a disproportionate amount of discussion time to the white male students in my classroom (controlling for the overall distribution of genders and races in the class). I was shocked. It felt like I was giving a disproportionate amount of time to my white female and non-white students.
Even when I was explicitly trying, I still failed to have the discussion participants fairly represent the population of the students in my classroom.
This is a well-studied phenomena and it’s called listener bias. We are socialized to think women talk more than they actually do. Listener bias results in most people thinking that women are ‘hogging the floor’ even when men are dominating.
Stop interrupting me: gender, conversation dominance and listener bias, by Jessica Kirkpatrick from Women In Astronomy
Implicit bias is a thing, just like privilege. Calling it out isn’t meant to shame anyone, but to alert us to step it up and improve ourselves so everyone can have a voice. Be conscious of what you and others are saying, and know when not to speak.